What to Do with my Life

APADKBA ii

2005-07-11T19:19:00.000+02:00

Second episode of blah blah. APADKBA. What an acronym. Man.

Well, this is my cat.

Expect more interesting photography when I get a new camera and my web site is finally up and running.

I'll keep y'all posted. Y'all.

APADKBA i

2005-07-10T20:11:00.000+02:00

Yes, that's an acronym. Yes, it means A Picture A Day Keeps Boredom Away. Yes, I'm launching it now. Yes, that's a Roman numeral.

First up is a self-portrait of... my eyes. Eek. For the most part, the pictures I'm uploading will be shot with my trusted Palm Zire 71 (an older version of the Zire 72, apparently). I hope this will change in the future, when I'm making photography a more serious hobby of mine. To keep my head above water a bit, you know. One needs indulging in hobbies sometimes. Also new is the bottom line in this post, which I intend to append to every future post.

Posted while listening to Red Hot Chili Peppers - Leverage Of Space (live)

Nay!!!

2005-07-07T15:00:00.000+02:00

I was going to post something here about my life, and how I am going to try to find a job again and then study something once I get heaps of money, but...

...then something happened. Terrorism. Again!

Sheeesh, those guys don't know when to stop, do they? Now it's London, tomorrow it's here. It's getting closer to the Netherlands, and that's not funny. Pretty terrible, actually. Is this the price you pay for fighting an unjust war? Probably.

But what can be done about it? Not much. You could of course ban Islam as a religion, but that wouldn't solve a lot. What you could do is send all the muslims back to Arabia. Because it's only the Arabic muslims that are bad. Just live apart, western and eastern civilisation never mingled well. We need apartheid. Back to the Middle Ages, I say. Yea!

Or nay... hmm... we'll see what happens in the future. I was about to release a new feature on this blog, A Picture A Day Keeps Boredom Away. But I'll postpone that for now.

Godspeed to everyone dealing with this tragedy.

"Now learn from the fig tree as an illustration this point: Just as soon as its young branch grows tender and it puts forth leaves, you know that summer is near. Likewise also you, when you see all these things, know that he is near at the doors." -- Matthew 24:32, 33

GOSH DARN IT

2005-07-04T18:16:00.000+02:00

Sorry.

Sometimes you feel like nobody wants you. Like, you know, what do you live for man, you know. I didn't even get into the bloody pharmacist assistant education. Why? Beats me. But now I want to study English at university. English is where my heart is, and always been. It's the language I love. And if that doesn't get me a good start to the rest of my life, I don't know what will. Look where it got Professor Tolkien. He studied English philology, after all.

The only thing I am trying to figure out is whether to first find a job (impossible) to make money, or to dive right in and see where the journey ends (slightly less impossible). I have no idea. Somebody give me a job, because I'm about to stop looking for one altogether.

"In the sweat of your face you will eat bread until you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken. For dust you are and to dust you will return." -- Genesis 3:19

Thoughts for the Day

2005-07-01T14:16:00.000+02:00

I love life, even though I don't have a love life.

I know something of everything, but of nothing everything.

Cooking with Me, episode whatever

2005-06-27T13:25:00.000+02:00

Once more, with feeling

Spaghetti like you never had it
- spaghetti
- whisky cocktail sauce
- "Valess"

I like cooking with feeling. Not with amounts of stuff. Just feel when it's ready, taste it to see if it's good. For this recipe, just cook the spaghetti, and stir-fry the Valess. But what is Valess? It's a meat replacer. For now, it's only available in the Netherlands, but I hope my international friends will get it soon. You'll need the roerbakblokjes (yes, that's Dutch) for this meal. Just throw everything together and pour over the sauce. It's good.

Now, for my non-culinary friends. I recently saw Episode III. A pirated copy, because I didn't want to pay to see another bad film. Of course, I will buy the DVD when it comes out. Anyway, I quite liked this one, as opposed to the first II Star Wars films. This one actually has quite a story going. Or rather, quite a lot of action. Not an awful lot of story. The dialogue was better than I had expected, the acting wasn't as bad as in the first two clickies... er... movies. It's a nice transition from the recent trilogy to the old trilogy. And there's a good moment in the movie. One of those moments where the fate of the universe hangs in the balance, where one character has only to do this or that, even seems to do what is good, but then turns bad after all. It's inevitable, but you hope they will do the right thing anyway. It's in human nature to think like this. Anyway, I'm talking about the end of the Mace Windu/Palpatine duel.

Go see it.

De Medici*

2005-06-19T21:19:00.000+02:00

*Of Medics

Right, so, ob li da ob la da and all that, life goes on yadda yadda. Because of this inevitable fact, that time keeps ticking away my money, I have another education application under construction, so to say. Assistant pharmacist. Or whatever Anglosaxons call it. Do stuff at an apothecary. Yes, that's a typical girl job. Yes, I'll be surrounded by girls. Yes, I don't know if that's a good thing yet.

But what I really wanted to talk to you guys about, is hospitals. Hospitals today don't seem to generate the hospitality their name would imply. While hospitals had been generally for the good of the people, not so anymore. It's big business now ($€$). In the recent past, one would come to such an institution and be called a patient, yea, and be treated as one. Now however, it seems they're moving toward a more business-like approach. Patient = customer, hospital = company, doctors = employees. This is a very bad development, in my opinion, which the government - sadly - encourages by emphasising the importance of money in health care. Doctors and patients alike are vicitimised by these developments: doctors hobble from ski vacation to ski vacation, while becoming apathetic of the patient. The patient does not get the treatment they deserve. Not just because they are in fact a paying customer, but more importantly, because it is a doctor's moral duty to help a patient however he can. Money is of no importance in this. But Hippocrates' oath doesn't apply anymore, I suppose... and I quote:

Into whatever houses I enter, I will go into them for the benefit of the sick, and will abstain from every voluntary act of mischief and corruption; and, further from the seduction of females or males, of freemen and slaves.

Doctors aren't like this anymore. Leastways, most of them are in it for their own wallet. Yes. I'm sorry I have to say this, but it's true. The days that health care was based on care for your neighbour... are long gone. One of the many things that have changed over time, for the worse.

IN OTHER NEWS, to end this blog post positively, I won last Saturday's LOTROTCG Highlander tournament. Oh sure, only six people showed up, but it's still cool. For those who (think they) understand, read on. It got me a Mouth of Sauron avatar (very cool), physical Boromir HoO promo, and I got a foil Blood Runs Chill in one of my online boosters.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME.

Uh, yes, thank you, Bill... uh... Sky?

DOOR.

Ah, yes. By the way, it isn't my time yet, is it?

NOT YET.

Ah. Thank you. Er, bye then.

BYE. FOR NOW.

No real update

2005-06-11T14:40:00.000+02:00

But I just wanted to say that I am in fact still alive, despite what people may or may not tell you. Don't listen to them.

I hope something will happen that warrants an update soon (something positive, that is).

Take care and cya later!

Ho hum

2005-06-07T12:01:00.000+02:00

We took mother to the hospital, and now I'm waiting at home. They'll call when the operation is done. I'm still a bit nervous, naturally. When I'm nervous, I do weird things. Like writing silly poems.

BSE
Violets are blue
Roses are red
Cows that say moo
Are not all mad

Hmmm

2005-06-06T15:06:00.000+02:00

I've got an idea for a site that I think hasn't been done before. What it is will be revealed in due course.

And I'm going to write mystery novels and hope to make lots of money.

Thanks for reading this.

Back to Square Eins*

2005-06-05T18:17:00.000+02:00

*One/Uno/Een/Un/Ichi

Well, well, well. Isn't life just a piece of you-know-what sometimes. So I didn't get into art academy, meh. But that's not the worst thing. My mother will have eye surgery in order to prevent blindness. Tuesday. If everything goes well. And everything hasn't been well, with hypertension, heart rythm problems, fluid behind a lung... and aggressive medication to counter all this. So I've been feeling kinda meh lately. Very meh.

And of course now I'll have to find a job again. Double Meh! First thing I'll do to make money is put stick some Google ads onto this page. Should work. I hope. Anyway, I won't complain too much, but I will leave you with a poem to ponder.

I give
I cry
But not
just that

I live
I die
But not
just yet

2005-05-22T15:12:00.000+02:00

Update: The young great tit has now left the balcony and is (happily?) flying around in the neighbours' garden. Apparently.

Today, a young great tit (parus major) flew against the balcony door, which my mother heard. She picked it up, at first afraid it would be dying, but it was (and is) still alive. It's now hanging around the balcony, probably recovering from the shock. I'll update if there's something new to say about it.

Another view of the young bird.

He probably thinks my mother is his mother now... I hope he'll be okay, heh. Cute little guy.

Uno, dos, tres, catorce!

2005-05-17T14:04:00.000+02:00

I don't know anything yet. I went to the admission conversation today, and I'll get the results in about two weeks. They (an illustration teacher and a female teacher who had to replace the original guy who would be there - at the last moment, very professional) asked a few questions, not many, and looked through my drawings. If I get in, great, if not, great. I'll continue drawing anyway.

Hello, Hello!

2005-05-15T16:49:00.000+02:00

I'm at a place called Vertigo.

Yesterday I finally got U2's first album. At least, Bono calls it their first album on the DVD that accompanies How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb. Apart from the DVD, which has a great documentary and 3 songs played twice, including a hilarious banjo version of Vertigo, there was a book included, with writings and stuff by the band. I don't quite know what to make of the book, but the music is

good.

Tomorrow

will be the last day before I will talk to two people at the art academy, who will either grant or deny me access from their building. If I don't get in, I'll be

sad.

Then

I'll go find a job again and make a web site that will make me money. Life won't be over then, but I'll just have to figure out how to re-invent my

life.

Tuesday

we'll meet again, and hopefully I'll be happy then. If not, cry with me, for a newborn life will begin anyway. Anyway.

oktaGONE.net

2005-01-26T19:44:00.000+01:00

My website, nargothrond.org, is currently down. Apparently, my host, oktagone.net, is having problems (DDoS attack and what not)... but if it continues to be down, I might have to look for another host. Ah well.

All is well, apart from that. In just a few days - this Saturday - I will go to the art academy open day, which should be interesting. Also, I shouldn't really complain about anything. At least I'm not hit by a tsunami. Or a war. Or a circus clown. With balloons. Shudder.

I Know!

2004-12-29T19:26:00.000+01:00

Well, at least I'm closer to my target: knowing what to do with my life. On January 29, there will be an open day at the local art academy.

And I'm creative, right? Right. So I'm going to have a go - no, I will finish it, and happily draw for my daily bread. No 9 to 5 office job for me! I want to inspire people, let the creative juices flow, yes, yes, YES!

I know.

Dreaming

2004-12-17T13:54:00.000+01:00

I had two dreams last night. One was with me happily parasailing around, a dream I've had before, and one that's very enjoyable at that. The other was a bit more complex, and I don't usually remember my dreams in such detail. Here it is:

It was a time of war, apparently in Poland. I was with a mate, a fellow soldier, and we happily vanquished quite a few enemies. UN soldiers, I think. But then things got a little rough somehow, and we decided to go to the local UN headquarters, to sign up as peace-keeping soldiers. The lieutenant there was very happy to have us, and we didn't dare to mention our little struggle back there, where we killed about a dozen of their guys.
So, my mate told him about how we were just privates, and the highest we had been was corporal or something. The lieutenant however, made me a commander, and my mate something a little lower. We both got a form with our job descriptions, you might say, and we got these stickers with stripes, to put on our uniforms. I got two, he got one. I found these stripes to be immensely cool, somehow.
So, then we got our blue berets, and we were ready to go on our first patrol. Of course, ordering troops around is mighty cool, but we decided we needed a bit of firepower. So I asked for a rifle, but didn't think I'd get one. Well, the lieutenant said they had quite a few AK-47s, so I got one of those.
I never really figured out how it worked, but I managed to get it to shoot later on. We also got blue helmets this day, which I found to be quite an improvement. And we went on another mission. To look if there were any rebels stashed away in the area. So, we split up, and I came to this little hut. Kicked in the door, whole thing came tumbling down. Cardboard or something. The second hut I encountered was empty. And near the end of the mission, I encountered a third.
When I kicked in the door, it was empty, but spacious, and it had quite a number of doors. I tried to kick in the one to the men's room, but it wouldn't budge. So I tried the next couple of doors, all nothing. Until I came to the last one, which opened up to the garden. I could see the figure of a man behind it, so I kicked it in and shot. Quite a few rebels were there in that garden, and I shot a bunch of them, but some of them weren't quite dead. I also found a gun there, with which I shot a couple of guys who wanted to get up.
Still, it didn't quite kill them, and when the leader of the bunch took a gun and shot at me, I kept dodging the bullets; nothing hit me. He said he had put blanks in all the guns, so when he came at me, I couldn't shoot him. He was eventually very close to me, and started reloading his gun with real bullets. I decided my best bet was to strangle him, so I started doing this, when he ordered one of his fellow not-quite-dead rebels to help him. That guy took my knife (part of my gear, apparently) and tried to stab me. I managed to grab the knife and stab the rebel leader several times in the heart area though, and that killed him. The rebels that were still alive surrendered, and I guess I captured them or something, and maybe even got a medal for bravery.

Well, that was an interesting dream, I must say. Probably had something to do with the fact that I am developing a less stressed view on life, that I'm getting these new dreams. And also, I read a chapter called 'The Uruk-hai' from The Lord of the Rings before going to sleep, which has quite a number of violent battles in it, so that helped set the mood, I guess.
Anyway. On to job agency enlisting! Yay!

Hah

2004-10-30T14:09:00.000+02:00

Two days to go until the NaNoWriMo madness. This is my novel, go check it out.

But before the madness commences, tonight there will be an online PSQ. Huh? Nothing you'd understand.

And I'm going to sign up (really) with a job thing service type company stuff. And I'm going to send someone some roses. Oops, that was supposed to be a surprise.

Im Westen nichts Neues

2004-10-25T15:26:00.000+02:00

Which means, nothing new on the western front. Or in the west. Or, nothing new with this Man of Westernesse. Muahah. I'm still looking for a job, only a bit harder maybe, but there's something else. It's scary. I think Blogger is reading my mind.

You see, I really really wanted to get back to writing again, and this time write a book, or a novel if you will. Only this time in Dutch, because I'm just a bit more poetic/innovative with that language. This is where Blogger kicks in. They're helping me out greatly, I think, without even knowing it.

And why not? Why shouldn't I blog my own novel, even if it's Dutch? And if that's not good enough, I could always try English. I mean, it's not as if I'm illiterate or anything. At least I know how to spell favourite, colour, and centre. And I know a bit of HTML. And I can write! Look, I'm doing it already, now all I need is to make sense. Which shouldn't be too hard for someone ~~sensitive~~ sensible like me. I'm going to do this.

Oh, and my throat has finally stopped being sore.

Common Cold

2004-10-13T13:39:00.000+02:00

You know how it is. Sore throat, head filled with stuff I don't even want to think about, feeling miserable... I've got a nasty cold. Blergh.

Neglect

2004-10-11T16:00:00.000+02:00

Yes, I've been neglecting this online journal. No, that's not my fault. Sometimes you just don't feel like doing anything, especially on the boring Internet, and I'm still looking, inquiring, waiting for reactions, concerning jobs.

But life is still good, very good even, though I don't always see it. It's in the little things. Cute animals. Pretty nature. Food even. My girlfriend. It's what keeps me going. Stop. Write more tomorrow. Stop. Probably. Stop.

This telegramme brought to You by Me. Lack of Inspiration, disappear!

Applying for Jobs

2004-09-30T14:51:00.000+02:00

Well, one today. But I'm hopeful about this one... of course, I always am, and that doesn't mean I'm getting it.

It's for a data typist at a hospital, 20-24 hours a week, and 1 year for now. That is, if they'll take me. One weird thing is that they chose to write the female version of the Dutch word datatypist, namely datatypiste. Of course, this didn't stop me, but it may imply that they're looking for a woman. Two, actually, so if they can't get anyone, perhaps I'm good enough. I'd like to. Wish me luck. And I'll keep on looking.

Tie Break

2004-09-29T13:08:00.000+02:00

I'm having a break from everything with my ties. For the first time, I'm going to re-tie all of my ties myself. To aid me in doing this, I have found this hopefully wonderful site.

2004-09-23T20:43:00.000+02:00

I thought Google was supposed to be easy... but this looks like Yahoo! Where's the cool, simple interface?

Cooking with Me, episode II

2004-09-23T18:49:00.000+02:00

I just found out that I was already registered on Guru.com, but I'm going to create a new profile from scratch, and seriously pay attention to, and bid on, projects. That said, let's start cooking.

Today's meal is what I call Super Mario Meal. Actually, I just thought that up. Things you'll need:
- Tortellini al Formaggio
- mushrooms
- olive oil
- pasta sauce
- salt
- water

Wash the mushrooms. Cut the mushrooms in convenient pieces and fry them, then add the pasta sauce. Meanwhile, cook the pasta. When both are done, throw it all together. Invite Mario and Luigi and have a great time.

I'm tired.

2004-09-22T15:22:00.000+02:00

I feel so sleepy that it's not even fun. Sometimes being sleepy can leave you in a tranquil state of mind, so that you can focus on what you're doing. But.

After that comes what feels like a sudden, horrible absence of brain cells, and you feel like a zombie. That's when you know you should be sleeping. And that's how I feel right now. Sometimes I wish the Sun would go up when I get out of bed, and that it gently sinks behind the horizon when I want to. But alas, it is not so, and I should be happy we have a Sun and Moon at all (and not several, like the fictional bi-solar planet of Tatooine).

Still, I got up early to accompany Mom to the physical therapist, and now I'm paying the price for my willful insomnia. I need more sleep. And I need to research what it takes to write things for people who are too lazy to type (sometimes called Freelance Journalism).

Test Results

2004-09-21T15:25:00.000+02:00

Comrades, I can safely inform you that the test of our new atomic weapon in North Korea has been executed and succeeded. Oops, wrong test.

It was a bit of a disappointment, this test. I mean, I already knew that I have an interest in languages and computers, and I'm not looking for an education in that in another part of the country. So, now for that Guru.com thing, I suppose... and if necessary, I'll have to lay aside learning Japanese for a while, in order to be able to learn skills that Really Matter, like PHP.

2004-09-21T15:05:00.000+02:00

With the ongoing support of my dear friend Winnie the Pooh, I should be able to figure out my future. Hopefully.

Guru.com

2004-09-21T14:43:00.000+02:00

Note: Anonymous commenting is now enabled for this blog.

What I'll do today, is to take that test I was talking about yesterday. You know, to see what I really like. I really don't have a clue.

Another interesting thing I'll do is to sign up with Guru.com. Maybe I'm too young to be called a professional in anything, but there are some things I'm pretty good at. My skills in HTML are at a level where I prefer making my sites in Notepad, and not with WYSIWYG editors. If I must though, I think I'll use Dreamweaver MX. I have a book about that with a lot of pages, so it must be a good book. Other things I know are: Visual Basic 6, with the opportunity to learn Visual Basic.NET if needed (I just need to actually buy that, but I do have two books about it); translating Dutch-English and English-Dutch, and writing in both languages for that matter; and even a bit of drawing, but I'm not sure if people like what I make enough to have me make it for them. In any case, I do know some things about Almost Everything, and I don't think hoping for a freelance Internet journalism job is unrealistic.

Finally, about the Japanese, I'll have to download those audio samples and add them to my playlist. It is my opinion and experience that when you listen to something often enough, you'll remember it in the end.

Japanese Language in Sounds

2004-09-20T16:31:00.000+02:00

Before I'll proceed with the book, I'd like to get a feel of how to pronounce Japanese. That's where this mini-course enters the big picture. It has WAV files, and it's a cute little introduction to the language.

Results?

2004-09-20T15:54:00.000+02:00

Some of those web sites (of Dutch colleges) are kind of hard to navigate... or just down. I'm going to take a test on one of them though, to see what I actually want to Study there. Also, I am going to research some job sites and enscribe in employment agencies - let them do the work for me.

As for the Japanese, I read through the introduction of the book with the pronunciation guide, and it kind of came back to me. Japanese is such a cool language. Although I don't have the audio cassette that optionally accompanies the book, so I'll have to hunt the Internet for MP3s or other audio for beginning students of Japanese.

Plans

2004-09-20T13:24:00.000+02:00

By now, you should know that I live in The Netherlands. I'm going to look on the Internet for job( opportunitie)s. A way to do that is to look at sites. Like, we have an interesting TV station here with information on what my beautiful city does for education. I might have to be educated to actually have something to look for, although I'll also try with some employment agencies to get (temporary) work. This should be fun, and at least useful for me to do. Perhaps I'll even make links here.

Furthermore, as for personal learning projects, I'm going to learn Japanese. Again. But this time for real. I only remember 'hai', 'lie', 'hajimemashite', and 'dozo yoroshiku', and I might not even have spelt that correctly. I can't even count in Japanese anymore. But, since the last time I tried to learn Japanese, I think I've improved my sense of languages, especially of English.

Lastly, I believe reading books helps improving anything, provided they are the right books. Currently I'm into naval history, and that will probably show in the list of things I'm currently reading, which doesn't exist yet. Eventually, it might look something like the right part of this site, so Ron Gilbert will have inspired me in more than one way (the other way being Monkey Island).

Of course, all this will cost time, so I have to lay aside seemingly cool things you can do on the Internet, like posting in forums or whatever. Oh yeah, I did promise someone to look for music by Willy DeVille (some singer, I'd never heard of him before though). But I'm cutting down on my useless Internet usage. Which doesn't mean there isn't any useful use of the Internet.

Cooking with Me

2004-09-18T19:04:00.000+02:00

And to show that I not only do senseless stuff, but also interesting things (in my opinion): I cooked today. The recipe is Madhur Jaffrey's, with a few alterations made out of laziness, weirdness, or other reasons beyond the scope of this Universe.

This should serve about 3 people. Okay, so you buy two broccoli-things (or whatever they're called, work with me here, I'm from Holland and trying to be bilingual), some garlic, and (Chinese) ginger. Also some of those cute little mini baby potatoes, or whatever you like with your food, and (very important) sesame oil. This is key to the whole meal. You can also just serve a plate with only sesame oil, but I don't think that's healthy. Sesame oil is available at those stores where they sell exotic food stuff you never heard of (and perhaps don't want to hear of). Get that? Okay.

Wash the broccoli, cut it into convenient bits, peel three parts of garlic (sometimes called toes, yuck), and squash them with a knife, or anvil if that's handier. Take three ginger balls (or whatever they came in, or more if you just love ginger). Now, make some bouillon - you're going to cook the broccoli in that later. Once that's done, you can put some oil (I use olive oil, but just about anything works, I guess) in a wok. Put the garlic and the ginger in, and then the broccoli. Fry until it's lovely green (shouldn't take too long), then put the bouillon in. Add about two spoons of sesame oil, put a lid on the wok, and just let nature do the rest. Then fry the potatoes, and when you think it's good to eat, you're done.

Now, maybe that sounds hard, but if I can do it, you can too. Next recipe will be one of my own, but I don't know when I'll post that (meaning I don't know how many posts until that).

Welcome to Me

2004-09-18T18:52:00.000+02:00

Me being me, or this new web log of mine.

Why another web log? Well, I need to know where to go with my life. And writing it all down helps. Yes it does, don't argue. At the moment, I am out of a job, and mostly bored, because I do hardly anything else than playing mindless games. So we'll have to change that, and I'm going to use this blog to help me do it. Things I can (and have to) do are to find a job, and eventually to go to another (Uncle Sam's) country.

Between that and here & now are several activities I can undertake in order to make myself a more complete person. Such as. Reading, Writing (here), Learning. Learning: Japanese, Dreamweaver MX, Visual Basic.NET, Guitar.

Obviously, I'm not going to do all of those things, but I have to give myself a direction to go, and collect knowledge from everywhere. I believe that by reading, you can obtain a lot of knowledge and experience. Also, I finally have to work through some books that are now rotting away on my shelf, some of them being coursebooks of sorts. I'll update you with all this while I'm alive, Right Here. Enjoy.